Everyone is the Worst in House of the Dragon Episode 6

Spoiler ahead for House of the Dragon episode 6 “The Princess and the Queen”

It’s ten years later and Rhaenyra gives birth to a son! Before the umbilical cord is even cut, Queen Alicent send for the baby. Rhanyra, exhausted and annoyed, makes sure to take the baby herself. If the baby attended alone, what would have happened? Good news, Viserys is still alive with a bit less of an arm. Laenor names the child Joffrey without consulting her, and it’s clear to Alicent that it’s another child that is not fathered by Laenor.

Her other sons have chosen a dragon egg for their new brother! Ser Harwin is there with them, and asks to hold his son… er, Rhaenyra and Laenor’s son.

By the way, there are so many new names to learn in this episode, and they’re all more similar than the last.

Rhae’s oldest son, Prince Jacaerys, does some dragon training with Vermax alongside his brother and cousins. He gives the Dracarys command and Vermax toasts a goat. Then, the boys let Aemond (Alicent’s younger son) know that he has something special in store! He’s the only one without a dragon… until now! The Pink Dread! Upset about the pig dressed as a dragon, Aemond wanders into depths of the dragons’ chambers. He comes face to face with one of them and runs away!

Then we meet Helaena, Alicent’s daughter who LOVES bugs. Animal Crossing’s Blathers would be her arch nemesis. She goes to Viserys about the (extremely funny and clever) pig prank, he dismisses his model guy Eddard before things get heated talking about Rhaenyra having bastard children. Viserys tells a story about horses. He all but says he ignores what’s going on to avoid the consequences.

Ser Criston is the worst. No need to go further into his conversation with Alicent.

Then we see Aegon standing nude in his window trying to pleasure himself when Alicent interrupts, “look here you little jerk! You will be king, grow up!”

Laena and Daemon and their daughter Rhanea and Baela, have a grand old time flying their dragons to Pentos where Prince Reggio offers them everything they need, a permanent home, in return for protecting them from the Triarchy with their dragons. Daemon is interested, but Laena thinks they’re better than that. She wants her child to be born home at Driftmark, and she wants to die a dragon riders death, not just sitting around! Also, Laena is very pregnant and could give birth any minute.

Back at King’s Landting, all the boys train together under supervision of Criston. Criston challenges Aegon and Aemond to a fight, he easily fights them off. Harwin asks that he give more attention to Rhae’s kids, and sets up Jace vs. Aegon. After some back and forth and some coaching the battle goes too far for Harwin, he splits up the match. Criston accuses him of being the father of Rhae’s kids!

Laenor returns drunk as a skunk with some guy Qarl. He wants to go out on an adventure to join the battle with Qarl. Rahe says NOPE, you drunk, we have some real stuff going on here! He’s tired of playing his part for ten years, but she commands him to stay home.

Laena gives Rhaena a pep talk to hang in there, she could have a dragon someday! Then she prods at Daemon about missing home, he claims to not miss it but spends all his time reading books about their kingdom’s history. “The man I married is more than this.”

A very interesting (boring) council meeting concludes but Rhaenyra wants to address the tension between their families. She proposes that Jacaeras and Heleana get married, and a gift of a dragon egg. Alicent rejects the proposal.

Sidenote: What are those trackball things everyone has in front of them at the council meetings? It looks very relaxing to fidget with.

Lyonel tries to resign due to Harwin’s outburst earlier, Viserys refuses the resignation saying Harwin’s leaving the city is enough. He permits him to escort Harwin back to Harrenhal before returning.

Alicent has a dinner chat with Lord Larys, she wishes for her father to be hand again because he would be on her side. Larys gets the message loud and clear, heading straight to the prison to release some men on death row. All they have to do is get their tongues cut off.

Back to Laena, she’s in labor and it isn’t going well! Daemon is presented with the same awful choice his brother faced in the first episode… Try to save the baby by losing the mother, or lose them both. Before he can even choose, Laena has made her own choice… She goes to her dragon Vhagar and gives the Dracarys command. She is burned to a crisp; a dragon rider’s death!

Harwin says a heartfelt goodbey to his family, er, Rhaenyra’s family, and vows to return someday. Rhaenyra says we’re packing up, this place sucks, lets go to Dragonstone! “The wise sailor flees as the storm gathers. Also, bring Qarl.”

Lyonel Strong and Harwin arrive at Harrenhal, followed by the men Larys freed from prison. A huge fire kills Lyonel and Harwin! “Queen made a wish, who wouldn’t strive to fulfill it?”

Overall, everyone is awful in this episode except for the following characters I like a lot:
Harwin - Dead by fire.
Lyonel - Dead by fire.
Laena - Dead by fire.
Helaena - Still alive, but Alicent is probably planning something.

What happens from here? Will Otto return to serve as Viserys’ hand? Will Daemon take his daughters to join Rhaenyra in Dragonstone? Can Larys get any more evil? Bring it on episode 7!

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Overall, That Kind Of Went Okay: House of the Dragon Episode 5